June 16, 2008
In Your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall. 2 Samuel 22:30 (NLT)
When we step out in faith, we can be assured that our walk will sometimes lead us to difficult places. I am in a difficult place, but God is with me.
Not too long after I started my new career, I began to have some terrible pains. It felt like nerve pain between my ear and my jaw. Anyone who knows my story knows that I have had a lot of jaw problems. I also have pain in my right shoulder area. I began to have physical therapy. Then the electrocution-type pains began to hit my neck. They seemed to radiate from that spot between my right ear and jaw. Well… enough about the pain.
How can someone whose work is all about cranial nerve disorders not recognize the signs of glossopharyngeal neuralgia? When my neurologist mentioned it to me, I was stunned. Years ago, I had been diagnosed with glossopharyngeal neuralgia. I thought of it as part of trigeminal neuralgia, not realizing how separate from each other they actually are..
Trigeminal neuralgia is still gone. In the meantime, I am trusting God to take this current pain from me. I have medication that helps deal with the symptoms. I’m allergic to the anti-seizure medications that work to keep the pain away.
Again I have days that I cannot talk. I cannot chew or brush my teeth. I thank God, though, that I can put on my make-up, stand in the wind, and not worry about a sheet brushing against my face. I also thank Him for giving me a job where my supervisor and my co-workers understand my limitations. My mom has been staying with me, cooking, cleaning, and reassuring me. I thank God for her.
In the past few months, I have been terrified by the pain and my fear of losing the new life that the Lord has given me. As I rise each day, I think about the armor of God. I ask God to help me use it for His glory. And I ask myself that if God is for me, who can be against me?
I never dreamed my path would become so steep. With God’s help, I can climb to a new level in His plan for my life. It’s His strength I am counting on, not mine. And I don’t question whether or not God will heal me. I just thank Jesus because I know that healing is on it’s way.
Have you read With Great Mercy?